Hi! I’m Chris. You’ve “met” me on a couple of posts before but never officially, so here I am, writing a post for my wife’s blog, which you should follow, by the way, because I’ve seen how much effort she puts into running it (and I miss her when she stays up until 3am scheduling posts). She’s telling me now that the links to follow and subscribe by email are in the sidebar, whatever that means.
Two weeks ago bae tested me with “The Boyfriend Tag” and I ACED IT [editor note: please don’t use the word bae in my blog. If you have to, write an editor’s note in italics next to it so you know I protested]. In the interest of equality, which we’re all about in this marriage, I decided I’d quiz her on the same questions. The ACTUAL answers I gave are in italics below each of bae’s answers [editor note: seriously bae, stop saying bae in the post].
C: I’m watching TV – what’s on the screen?
H: Don’t really watch TV but usually YouTube. It’ll be WhatCulture, Outside Xbox or The Dooo.
Usually YouTube. The Dooo, WhatCulture, Honest Trailers…
C: I’m out for dinner, what dressing is on my salad?
H: He doesn’t eat the salad! It doesn’t matter what’s on it.
I shall reluctantly eat most of the salad as long as there is no dressing on it.
C: What’s one food I don’t like?
H: You won’t eat cabbage and you find it difficult to eat broccoli. And fish! You don’t eat fish.
There are so many to chews from (lol, puns) but all seafood and obviously crisps as I have a phobia.
C: We’re out for dinner and drinks – what do I order?
H: You’d usually go for a burger. And for drinks… you’re usually driving so it would be a lemonade. But if you’re not driving, then a JD and coke, I think.
Depends what I’m feeling, lots of meat, pizza, curry, burger – and this is just for a starter! Drinks – either lemonade or a cocktail or JD depending on whether I’m driving.
C: What size shoes do I wear?
H: Usually seven, although he has fit into my size 6 heels before!
Anything from a size to an 8 really… I hope she doesn’t mention that time I wore her heels…
C: If I’m going to collect anything, what would it be?
H: Dust! *Laughs*. Don’t write that down. Well, you did Pokemon so I don’t think that again, and you don’t collect makeup like me I hope. Games! Although you don’t really collect them you just get them to play them.
Well, I would maybe collect things if I had the money to buy them, I guess games although I would rather have a big fancy shoe collection. A room just for nice shoes.
C: What’s my favourite sandwich?
H: You just have cheese in your sandwiches.
C: *Give H a funny look*
H: Ham! You just have ham, I meant, but with no butter. Is it a sandwich or is it just bread and ham?
Maybe a meatball sub, but I’m also a fan of the classic toast sandwich… two slices of toast with a slice of toast between them!
C: What would I eat every day if I could?
H: Um, at the moment, soup. Although probably not through choice! Maybe toast.
Toast. I pretty much do anyway and there is so much variety… cheese on toast, jam, butter, chili toast… a toast sandwich…
C: What is my favourite cereal?
H: Kids Tesco or Asda 3 for 2 cereal! Cornflakes, although I feel like you appreciate the variety.
Alpen. Maple and pecan is super tasty.
C: What’s my favourite sports team?
H: You don’t do sport. That’s it.
If I had to choose… I wouldn’t. I would rather be playing sport.
C: What’s my favourite music?
H: Um, the Guardians of the Galaxy playlist. That sort of music.
I will appreciate any music and sing along to most stuff as long as it has more than five words (I’m looking at you, House Every Weekend!). But generally older music or rock.
C: What’s my eye colour?
H: Your eyes are weird. They’re like, grey, bluey, greeny brown. Like all the colours mixed in. I guess they’re mostly greyish green.
I always assume my eyes are grey-blue like Holly’s but apparently they’re weird.
C: Who’s my best friend?
C: What is something you do that I wish you wouldn’t?
H: Um, get into fights with your friends. Squeeze your spots.
C: Is that all?
H: That’s all I’m saying or we’ll be here forever.
Spot squeezing. Also dropping things in the house and not picking them up, like wrappers.
C: Where was I born?
H: I don’t think you even know, some hospital in Stoke.
Pfft, not a clue. I dunno, I wasn’t there for the most part anyway.
C: You bake a cake for my birthday – what kind of cake is it?
H: A really interesting cake with lots of… stuff. Like, icing and words, but just a normal sponge underneath.
Hmm, maybe a normal sponge cake with icing. Bit boring though, I dunno, maybe apple pie?
C: Do/did I play any sports?
H: We sometimes do tennis but haven’t since forever. You used to do PE in school with BTECers and did all the sports in the world but then you got lazy.
Many sports! Skiing, rock-climbing, kayaking/canoeing, rugby, archery, swimming, bouldering, cycling, running…
C: What do/could I spend hours doing?
Xbox and sleeping. I guess eating to. I’m like an endless pit of food yet never put on weight (haters gonna hate).
C: What is one unique talent I have?
H: You’re good at lots of things, um, you’re really good at making me laugh a lot even when you’re being stupid and I feel like you have the world’s smallest butt if that’s a talent.
I guess see whatever Holly says. Eat all the food and not get fat. And of course I’m completely hilarious.
C: Any last words?
H: I feel like I should have been more detailed with my answers but it’s been a distressing evening so I’m distracted. Fin.
So, Holly, how did I do at my first blog post? [Editor note: you did okay. you need to format it though. make the C and H’s bold and sort out the spacing and italics and stuff.] I’ll just let you do that, just don’t delete the words!
I did well, even if it did take me hours to write this up! [Editor note: I like how you did your answers underneath mine, I should have done that with my post.] I’m amazing. I’m not sure if you can include your signature at the bottom, as you didn’t write this. It was all me! So it should say Happy Chris-something. Happy Chris-mas?